#1) A Fear of the Future

I am infinitely worried and afraid of the future.

I am afraid of making the wrong choice of studying medicine, and I am afraid of the hard work, stress and competition that is likely to come with it.

I am worried about feeling lonely, helpless, and defeated.

I am worried that I am merely putting up a facade of interest and passion in medicine when deep within I can feel a burden of doubt and... insecurity in my abilities.

I am worried about my parents, and whether the time consumed by a dedication to medicine is comparable to time spent with them, especially when it appears limited. I am worried that the inevitable will happen - and I will not have been there when it does.

I am worried whether a life committed to being a doctor will allow me to be a good husband/partner/father. I am worried if I'll be able to show up to my kid's events like my dad, who turned up to almost every football fixture when I was a child. I am worried if my kids will grow to resent me as I pursue an endless ambition I might not have really wanted.

I am worried that I won't ever meet someone and have the chance to have kids, regardless of whether I end up a doctor or not.

Most of all, I am afraid that I'll look back on my life with regret.

I am infinitely worried and afraid of the future -

and maybe, probably, so are you.

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Here's a song I've been listening to lately from Hotel Del Luna that's pretty soothing.