#2) May in Moments

Hiya guys - hope ya'll are doing well. This post is made up of a collection of pics, vids and a few stories here and there over how my month went. It's definitely a bit of a longer read (with my attention span I wouldn't last) but I hope you enjoy it.

May 1 - Netflix and Gelato

I woke up and found a text from Marie - saying she was making gelato deliveries to my area. She sent me a tub for free - and essentially made my day.

Thank you friend :D https://wakawakagelato.com/

The fam had just been introduced to a whole new world of entertainment in the form of Netflix. My parents were riveted - and every night for the past few days, the same, joyous words would be uttered by my mother:

可以看 netflix 吗?

To which I had really no choice but to oblige.

There came a point where I was truly hesitant to do so however, and that was when my mom suggested we watch Crash Landing on You. I had watched K-dramas with her before, but something about the nature of it being a rom-com made me feel a bit unsure of taking the 16-episode plunge.

But I relented, and decided to sit through the first episode to feel things out. I posited that my mom would quickly lose interest, and we would sift through the rest of this whole new world looking for another show or movie - as we had done plenty before.

And so we watched the first episode. And then, the second - and then, the third.

And it was pretty good.

There was no escape now for either of us.

May 2 - Sunset

Kat sent me this gem.

May 4 - Masked (Shop) Marauders

Me dad and I went out for some groceries - my first time going out in a while.

May 5 - Cheeky Legal Badminton

Badminton with the homie Aidan - he conveniently had a badminton court outside his house along with his own net. A 2 minute drive from my house and we were ready to play, as long as the wind was willing.

May 6 - Pretty, until I saw the red ants

May 8 - The THONEH Debacle

It was worrying how confident my dad was when he asked me to help drive him to an eye hospital in PJ.

The "driving up the curb" incident in Subang and the "take two minutes to reverse park" in Glenmarie had seemingly been replaced by "he can drive to school." Nevertheless, as I started the engine on a cool Friday morning I was still excited to go out and about, though I knew I was going to have to pull a clutch performance in the driver's seat.

20 minutes in and all semblance of trust in my ability was forgotten as the roads of PJ landed a solid right hook via a massive pothole, the sharp THUMP the climax preceded by my dad's shouting (mind you, he was the one going to the hospital and could see it) and followed by a barrage of chirping. OKAY, okay, it's alright Jay Ren, just focus on your driving and don't get angry.

"The hospital is on the right, RIGHT," he pointed, as I drove on the outermost left lane past it.

They see me rollinn

My dad decided that it would have been too early regardless to go to the hospital (of course it was, why else would I drive past?) and directed me to a nearby Familymart, where we stopped over to takeaway some breakfast.

Sitting in the front seat, I lightly dug into my tray of hot Curry Rice Bento while my dad took a few bites of a sandwich, obviously disgusted with his chauffeur. "Ahh, maybe I should take over now, since the roads here are very complicated. You just drive back afterwards," he posited, already getting out of the car. So I relented, and munched away into steaming goodness with my dad at the wheel.

Now, what happened next is still very unclear to me, but there are some things I know for sure: 1) we were heading down a slope, 2) my dad was talking about something, rather passionately (perhaps the roads in PJ in an attempt to soothe my burns?), and 3) the car was moving along rather quickly, especially when 4) BA THERE'S A SPEED BUMP IN FRONT OF US

I turned to my father, and saw the split second of time in which the realisation of what was going to happen clicked and his eyes widened.

He leaned into the brakes -

- and I turned back ahead of me,

just in time to catch a glimpse of a egg curry mortar in midair, majestically spinning to reveal its neatly compacted rice before laying carnage to the carpet beneath.

It was only 9 in the morning :/

You were good to me ~

May 15 - What now?

May 16 - The Gift of the Durian Fruit

Marie sent another tub of ice cream over, this time with a message:

This song has also grown more and more on me:

What an absolute bop.

May 18 - The Boy With The Red Bike

"Hiya," waved the boy on the red bike. He couldn't have been more than 12 - where was I when I was 12? Certainly not on a bike.

"Hi," I waved back, feeling rather envious.

"So, you live around here?"

Well, yes, of course I do, that's why I'm taking a walk round here neighbour, but I settled for a more succinct nod of the head instead.

"Where?" I lifted a single finger, and pointed him towards the rows of houses in which I stayed, hoping it would sate his curiosity.

"What colour is your gate, and what colour car is inside?"

I stood for a second, my eyebrows unconsciously narrowing in as if to reach out and grasp every word that was spoken.

"Is it that colour or that colour?" He asked, flinging a hand between two adjacent houses. I signalled at one.

"And car colour?" I gulped. "Wh-wh-ite."

The boy kicked his leg over his bike. "Alrighttt, let me check," speeding off into the distance.

I could not have been more perplexed. The possibilities swirled - a spy? A young informant from a crime syndicate sent with the goal of doing reconnaissance work on potential houses? It had happened before - albeit it was an older South American (?) lady who had actually walked into our home on the pretext of "checking out how it was designed". Then again, she had rang the doorbell, but this boy, this boy was BOLD, asking the actual occupant of the home where he stayed.

And then, just as I began to resume on my walk, a piece of writing from a book I had finished earlier vaguely came to mind:

If I have told you these details about the asteroid, and made a note of its number for you, it is on account of the grown−ups and their ways. When you tell them that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you, "What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies?" Instead, they demand: "How old is he? How many brothers has he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make?" Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him. If you were to say to the grown−ups: "I saw a beautiful house made of rosy brick, with geraniums in the windows and doves on the roof," they would not be able to get any idea of that house at all. You would have to say to them: "I saw a house that cost $20,000." Then they would exclaim: "Oh, what a pretty house that is!"

Disappointment bubbled within me as I remembered how hesitant I had been in responding to the boy. Much like the little prince, I gander he did not observe the world much through the filter of figures, numbers and 'matters of consequences'. Imagination, curiosity and discovery instead was the name of the game - and the boy with the red bike was a reminder that I had stopped playing it for a while. I indeed, had become akin to "the grown-ups" without even knowing it, and perhaps it was time for me to dabble in it once more.

It was only a moment that I had to reflect on this when the boy came careening through on his bike, stopping beside me.

"Is your car (Brand A) or (Brand B)?"

Having gained a new sense of admiration for his inquisitiveness, I answered his question. This boy with the red bike, a little prince of the neighborhood - pride in his youthfulness swelled up within me. I was proud.

You keep doing you sir. I'll be getting on my way.

"So... anyways, why are you walking round like a crazy person?"

I halted. Why was I walking you ask? Because I had a bit on my mind and wanted to clear my head you ingrate -

Now that I think about it, any adult or friend would have asked if everything was alright. To which is perfectly acceptable and normal. Just that I may or may not have answered truthfully.

This was a child however - and perhaps, to a child whizzing along on his bike, a person inching slowly along the neighbourhood with his eyes on the sky truly did account for a crazy person.

"Why are you riding your bike like a crazy person?" I sputtered, the lamest, most unimaginative comeback one could have possibly used. The boy scowled something in response as he passed me, but I didn't register it.

I walked home with what I felt was a smile on my face.

---

Right, we also ordered a shaver from online, and I decided to cut my hair short when I got back.

May 22 - No Potholes Driven Over Today

May 27 - Bro said, "I'll drive."

May 31 - You've been a fascinating month, May.

---

Given that this is a personal site, I think it would be good to just voice my feelings briefly on everything that's been transpiring lately.

When I consider the lack of emotion I've felt when reading the news about George Floyd or scrolling through IG, I've justified it by thoughts like:

"we shouldn't make presumptions."

"did race really play a part?"

and foremost, "another one of the million terrible things going on in the world today."

And quite innately, I believe those to be my own, valid thoughts. And almost certainly, you hold your own, valid ones.

What I am saddened by is how these thoughts came to the forefront of my response, and not pain, heartbreak, and disappointment that a human life was cruelly taken away, even as he cried and begged, and yelled for his mother.

Perhaps, I have grown desensitised to incidents like this.

But this has been a reminder for me that in this difficult world, where our humanity has been stripped bit by bit from us, the ability to feel is something I often find myself losing a grasp of.

I am very much at a crossroads with what to do next. But trying my best to love unconditionally, being willing to engage in conversation and discourse and continuing to navigate my thoughts seems to be in order. For myself, at least.

I shall then start by saying this. Black Lives Matter. All Lives Matter. All ought to be loved - and in a time like this, to show our love is evermore so important.

Wisdom - A Poem by Jordan B. Peterson

“Life is suffering

Love is the desire to see unnecessary suffering ameliorated

Truth is the handmaiden of love

Dialogue is the pathway to truth

Humility is recognition of personal insufficiency and the willingness to learn

To learn is to die voluntarily and be born again, in great ways and small

So speech must be untrammeled

So that dialogue can take place

So that we can all humbly learn

So that truth can serve love

So that suffering can be ameliorated

So that all of us can stumble forward to the Kingdom of God."

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Take care guys, hope to be able to see ya'll soon.